1 post tagged “manliness”

The Mitchum Man ads in the New York subway stations are not new.  It seems they first went up in 2005, amid some  controversy  , and were taken down, I believe, almost solely due to their inherent poor taste.  They said things like 'If G is your favorite kind of string, you're a Mitchum Man' and 'If hammering something is your way of de-stressing, you're a Mitchum Man'.  Do you know who else likes G strings?  Guitarists.  And who else hammers at something to relieve stress?  Chimpanzees.  Ergo, Mitchum Men are chimpanzee guitarists. Dammit, if only that were true! then this blog would be praise-filled instead of just an aggravated rant.
So, these ads are back with a vengeance.  Only now, instead of promoting a deodorant for violent misogynists they promote a deodorant for lazy slobs.  It sort of epitomizes a greater trend in post-modern conceptualizations of traditional manliness (e.g. yesterday's Archie Bunker is today's Homer Simpson).  Anyway, I have this theory that this ad campaign could only have been created by a bitter woman who hates both men and the company she works for.  That's the only way it makes sense to me. I went all the way to their annoying website to get some actual examples of the new ads.  For some reason they are rife with the older ones*, but not so forthcoming with the new slovenly ones.  I clearly remember one being 'If you have chili stains on your shirt, you're a Mitchum Man.'  I'll get more soon, as I am about to get on the subway.  But honestly, I know several awesome dudes, and none of them really enjoy intentionally staining their clothing.  So, who is like "aw, fuck yeah! Chili stains! That's so me!" It's sort of like admitting "The last woman who stared deeply into my eyes was my optometrist" or "I still live with my parents, it's whatever!"
I mean, dudes, shouldn't you be offended by this?  This is apparently how the fat cats on Madison Avenue view you: as dumb-dumb heads who eat too much.  Now, Mitchum also has a Mitchum Woman deodorant, and I wonder if the same degrading generalizations would work for a sister campaign... Let's see, it needs to be about the "Average Jane"... Hmmm...

"If you married him for the money, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If you constantly need male attention, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If you're a bad driver, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If you're no good at math and/or science, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If you like fruity drinks, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If your life will never be complete without a husband, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If the last thing you read was a Pottery Barn catalog, you're a Mitchum Woman"

"If you constantly compare events in your life to those which happened to a lead character on Sex and the City, you're a Mitchum Woman"

I have only one more thing to add to this subject.  On the Mitchum Man web site there is a "Man Test" or somesuch nonsense.  By answering almost completely truthfully I scored 85%.  I was awarded a cyber-certificate of dudeliness which was inscribed to "Callie 'The Dragon' Enlow: The Duke of Dunk, Pimp of the Party and (personal favorite) Brother Like No Other". 

*Including one television ad which says "If you convinced her the photos were for your private collection, you're a Mitchum Man."  Way to go! I wanted to link to this complex-creating (for me) ad, but wasn't able to.  Instead I present you with the hot chick who hosts the Man Test on the web site.  It's a present from me to you.  Also, I'm really only posting it for the uber-creepy last 6 seconds.